Fantasy Thrones

Storm of Swords - Fantasy Thrones by Rollie Agado

Season Four is officially here and I'm comfortably in last place, due largely in part to having an opening episode that is setting characters in place for a full season of subplots.  

Prince Oberyn Martell - Bi-Sexual beast and soon to be Dothraki Taint. 

This means I will get dibs on picking up Prince Oberyn Martell...  A bi-sexual madman who's all about orgies and killing Lanisters.  He's taking a residency in Kings Landing, so he's potentially good for a hundred point episode.  Another character that I would consider picking up... is the nameless dude with all the weird scars on his face.  He's bald and kinda reminds me of the Michael Berryman in the Hills Have Eyes.   He's a cannibal and that gets you big time points in Fantasy Thrones.

Freaky guy about to eat some Crow.   This show insane.

One team however did score a lot of points tho'.  Kyle's Golden Lions dropped 186 total points on the league tonight and did so in the closing 10 minutes of the season premiere.

The Hound - who felt a little to comfortable saying the word "cunt" in front of a 14 year old girl....
Fought 5 people = 50
Killed 3 unnamed = 22.5
Decisively won 3 fights = 75
The Hound Drinking Ale = 1 

Arya  - is slowly easing into being a murderous and avenging monster
Killed 1 named character and 1 unnamed = 37.5
We don't award points for enjoying the Kill... but if we did, Arya would be picking up points for that too'.

Chris's team Kentucky Fried Ravens dropped 20 points.
The Imp denied coitus for 10 points and I awarded 10 points for possessing a concealed erection.   Shout out to those who suck fingers by the way.  

Lastly, my team the Dothraki Taints only mustered 10 points.
Kalisi (mother of dragons) was awarded 10 points for possession of a concealed wet spot.  Dario (fellow Dothraki Taint) who I think is a different actor this season...  presented a blue rose, some dried white flowers and a poisonous plant to Kalisi.  To which she took... smiled and got all stirred up on the inside.   It won't be long before Kalisi goes in for the sexual kill.  

Fantasy Thrones by Rollie Agado

For many, watching Game of Thrones is fulfilling enough...  for me and co-workers Kyle and Chris, we've developed a Fantasy Game of Thrones games to accompany the episode viewing.

Here are the results and rules of our Fantasy Game of Thrones League

My team (the defending Fantasy Thrones Champions) the Dothraki Taints are as follows.

I picked 3rd in the draft and selected Kalisi, mother of Dragons with my first pick.  I'm not exactly sure how and why she fell into my lap again this season, but I will undoubtedly rack up the points if she levels another city this season.

I selected Jon Snow with my second pick of the draft.  Mainly because he's emo as all get out and he's likely to slay a snow zombie (white walker?) this season.

Picked up Dario with my third selection...  I figure if Kalisi decides to give it up, it would be a good idea to handcuff the pick to her boyfriend.  This is like have Manning and Welker in fantasy football.   He's also likely to kill someone at any moment.

Selected Tywin with my 4th pick...  I see a lot of late round value in this pick.  While he's not "sexual" he's been known to threaten people's lives a lot and he's always drinking.  These are worth points in our league and I don't know how he didn't get selected in the top 10 picks.

I selected Samwell with my last pick...   I figure he's good for at least 4 on screen weeps this season translating into 80 points before its all said and done.   You have only one job on my team Samwell!