Victim of a Naked and Afraid marathon...

When I got back from bowling on Sunday, I took in 6 consecutive episodes of Naked and Afraid…

A show on the discovery channel that pairs a man and woman who have a shared interest in primitive survival skills and then places them on a part of the world to test said skills.

My initial interest in the show was rather shallow…  I was curious to see how much nudity the show was going to allow on cable television.

I’m going to save you a lot of time by confirming that they pretty much blurcle anything of interest.

Ladies: Breasts / Labia / Rear Burger… are all blurred out.
Men: Dong / Balls… are all blurred out.

I then wondered the following things:

1.) Will participants go out of their way to find clothing? (my rationale… you don’t want to expose parts of your body to the sun)
2.) Will the participants ever become sexually involved with one another?
3.) Will the participants narrowly avoid death because mother nature is not to be fucked with…

After sitting thru six episodes (all of season one) I can quickly answer number 3 by saying there was only one close call.

On episode 5… one of the contestants decided to drink untreated (read: not boiled) water and he came down with a killer fever.  His temperature got to 105 degrees and he needed to be carted off to some hospital where he received treatment in time to save his life.

The contestants didn’t really go out of their way to ever make any clothes…  this surprised me because they pretty much sat bare ass on their surroundings. 

Which by the way were pretty interesting, every pair of contestants were sent to a different part of the globe.  My three favorite locations:

  • Swamps of Louisiana
  • Some islands located on the equator outside of Africa where temps reach 120 degrees during the days and the water temperatures were warm enough to ward off fish from wanting to swim near shore.
  • Africa - i forget what part… but it didn’t really have any water.

But I digress…  

Sex.  So yeah…  there was practically none on the show and this surprised me a little bit.   I kinda figured that sex might come into play at some point…  maybe after someone killed something to eat after going through days of starvation.  

Conditions were apparently harsh enough to ever allow sexy time to ever enter the picture.

The familiar smell of Print Journalism / Ep. 3: Willie Pete

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Three take-away’s from the Newsroom’s 3rd Episode: Willie Pete.

1.) “Is it true that Book Agents beat their wives?”  A throw away line from last nights episode but I did some extensive google searches this morning and came up with bupkis.  

2.) Will MacAvoy dropped his 3rd music reference in as many episodes this season…  Heartache Tonight - by the Eagles.  I wonder if we’ll be getting one for every episode this season?

3.) In the closing moments of episode three, translated twitter posts are arriving into the ACN Newsdesk Fax Machine.  Confirmation of Operation Genoa is starring back blankly and for just a few moments… I sensed something I haven’t felt in a very long time.

I once had the privilege of working in a small newsroom.  When I moved back from Detroit to Texas, I got hired by the Valley Morning Star to edit and publish their online web content.

It remains to this day, the place of employment that I enjoyed most.  The pay was terrible and I didn’t really stay there long enough to maybe learn to dislike it…  but there were elements of that job that I’ve never been able to find at other places of employment.

One night, at the Valley Morning Star…  a story leaked into our newsroom about an inmate who passed away in his holding cell.  There was a great deal of work that needed to be done by the news desk before writing up a story.  

An indescribable sense of responsibility fills the room… this is the familiar smell of breaking something in Print.

Broadcast news occasionally does investigative journalism and last nights episode sorta gives you a glimpse of that.  But the familiar smell of print journalism is what I’ll remember most about Ep. 3 - Willie Pete

Thru 3 Weeks: Fantasy Reality League

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Before I get to the top performers of the week…  I want to give a shout out to Marlon.  He broke new ground in the Fantasy Reality League by not only having 2 confirmed hook-ups in a single episode.  He also hooked up with both genders in a single episode.

I had openly expected Frank to cross this finish line first…  I guess we’ll have to wait and see if he can best this promiscuous  accomplishment.

Team: Joker scored 225 points in week 3
Team: Ro Ro scored 150 points in week 3

TOP 5 Performers of the WEEK.

1.) 105 points - Sarah
Sarah tied Anastasia’s season high 105 point performance by total accident.   She picked up 100 points for getting kicked off the show because her teammate quit.  Sarah also posted 5 points for crying about it…

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2.) 105 points - Trish “the dish”

Trash’ell picked up 105 points the hard way…  She picked up 30 points for Verbally and Physically fighting Aneesa.  She also picked up 10 points for being visibly drunk (commissioner discretion) during that exchange. 30 points for threatening to leave the show and following thru… and then picking up an additional 35 points for getting TJ to voice his “quitter” displeasure.

I really don’t know what to make of Trash’ell’s performance last night.  I still can’t get over the fact that she tossed her luggage down hill and drove away in what appeared to be someone’s Honda Civic in Thailand.   How the fuck does that exactly work?

I know precious fuck all about Thailand, but I’m going to presume that its not an easy country to drive in.  I wouldn’t expect the airport to be near the Challenge village…  for all we know, we may have seen some Grand Theft Auto.

3.) 60 points -  Marlon
Marlon started out strong by having confirmed rumors of a blowie under a bridge at the start of episode two.  25 points.

Marlon then got into a verbal spat with Knight… they got split up before he could pick up any physical confrontation points.  5 points.

Marlon capped the episode by kissing and sexing up Nany for a combined 30 points.

All around solid performance in last nights episode.  He and his teammate almost one their athletic challenge also.

4.) 35 points - Johnny & Frank
Yawnful 35 points…  25 points for getting TJ to say they “killed it”.  They also picked up 10 points for winning a challenge.  (new rule, we added last week) 

5.) 30 points - Nany
Nany picks up a yawnful 30 points for kissing and coitus with Marlon.  Big ups to her for not bothering to hide their foreplay under the covers.

Honorable Mentions 
-10 points : ZACK.  He had Knights shirt on at the Elimination… showcasing his support.

25 points : Derek - for receiving a blowie