The decision to drive to the Windstar World Casino could only be described as “impulsive”. I floated the idea past my mother and sister the week before but I didn’t really get a buy in from both. Nay, my mom was fully on board but my sister was playing coy. Getting my mother a Christmas Day gift is tricky. She’s equal parts frugal and picky, so I never find anything she truly wants and if I happen to find something that she appreciates she openly frets about how much was spent. That being said, she’s quite content if I drop a few hundred dollars in scratch off tickets in her stocking.

It was ten past 10:00pm when my sister sent me a text stating she would be willing to watch my dog, if I drove the Oklahoma the following day/morning. Quickly made arrangements with Air B&B to secure a townhome for the night in a matter of hours I found myself on the open road to the Windstar World Casino in Oklahoma.

The drive up to the Casino was pretty uneventful. My mom didn’t make much conversation, she fiddled about the car trying to sort out her three drinks. A bottle of water / an oversized metal coffee container that barely fit into the cup holder / and something else I can only describe as mommy sizzerp. She didn’t exactly pack a proper duffle bag or suitcase. It was one of those recyclable bags one uses to fetch groceries and to save the planet. Hers appeared to have some clothes, a tooth brush, medications, an iPad, cheater reading glasses and her Nintendo Switch. The woman is addicted to Animal Crossing, so it’s safe to assume she will spend the car ride there and back engrossed in her game.

I packed a few things of my own. The only thing I was consumed with was randomly listening to tunes played back on the “Rolando iTunes playlist” which contained tracks I like from numerous artists and a handful of new things I hadn’t heard yet.

I don’t drive as much as I used to, so I kinda relish the opportunity to be on the open road to hear music in that specific setting. The only drawback is possibly hearing tracks that remind you of times/places/people when you have nothing but time in your head to reconcile all those ill thoughts.

When I wasn’t on the road avoiding bitter tunes, I hit up a few Buc-ees to procure drinks/snacks/covid-19 variant strains. After one specific stop just outside of Waco - I noticed my mom got an assortment of Peanuts and Pretzels. She would eat small handfuls and then appear to stuff them onto her person. As if she was filling her jacket pockets with reserves of snacks. I caught all of this with a slight glance, but I couldn’t help but break the awkward silence and ask “exactly what the fuck are you doing?”

Rolled the dice on swearing directly to my parental unit, but I had two hands on a steering wheel and we were neck deep in traffic. If she opted to strike me, we could crash into wall and die a fiery death while listening to deep cuts by the Smiths. A calculated risk on my part, but the ball was directly in her court. “I’m hiding snacks on me incase I sit at slot machine I like. I don’t want to get up and leave it if I happen to get a little hungry.” she said. I was gobsmacked. Her rationale was sound. I feared asking what other preparations she made under her clothing. My mom was set to wage war on the casino floor.

It didn’t take long upon our arrival at the Casino that I would have my hands full today. I dropped her off at the lobby doors so that I could self park the vehicle. When I finally caught up to her I asked where her glasses were, she checked her pockets knowing she purposely left her three pairs of cheaters in the car. There’s zero chance that she will be able to read anything on the screen displayed the gambling machines around us.

I’ve just signed up to be a gambling sherpa.

After sorting out World Star “Player” Cards, we began to make our way round the casino floor. A good chunk of the space is appears to allow smoking. I mention this because my mom has a terrible kept secret of enjoying menthol cigarrets. I also came to the realization that Oklahoma allows medicinal marijuana. Hints of “Altas Palmas” filled the air around me. I checked my wrist watch, it wasn’t 2:00pm yet and people around me are hitting the loud pack and gambling their life savings away. I accepted the fact that I was indeed feeding into some very degenerate Christmas behaviors.

if you haven’t been to a Casino floor recently, it kinda feels like a place where Intellectual Property goes to die. I looked to the left of me and saw a Willie Nelson slot machine, I looked to the right and I saw a Fruit Ninja slot machine. Ahead of me was my mom limping round trying to find something that caught her attention. I immediately realized that she misplaced her cane. I found myself doubling back to a number of machines until I found it. In that short time, I managed to lose her on the casino floor. It’s amazing how many people look and dress like your mom in an Oklahoma casino on a random Tuesday afternoon.

I found her after a frantic 20 minute separation. She seemed annoyed by my presence and she practically shooed me away. I could tell that she was ready for a smoke and was ready to dump some serious coin into a machine. Without her knowing it, I place an Apple Air tag on her person. This is a shitty thing to do but finding her will be a much easier exercise.

I spent the next couple of hours roaming the vast casino floor. A section of the floor was non-smoking so I headed over to that part in hopes of finding black jack tables. I sat down at a 10 dollar minimum table and played a few hours. I ended the morning session up 136 dollars…. continued to roam the floor in hopes of finding something else to do. I was kinda hoping that a sports book was in the casino, but all I could find was Poker Tables and Off-Track gambling. There’s no lonelier place on earth than a nearly vacated Off-track gambling room. The walls were filled with flat panel TVs broadcasting closed-circuit races from around the globe. To the right of me was an older gentleman that would get up every 20 minutes or so and obtain a number of track slips. Judging by his forward leaning posture and tearing up of ticket Stubbs - his horses didn’t win or show.

I kept to myself and exchanged a number of messages with random people on my phone. I wish I could describe the level of comfort felt from what was the remote place on earth. The part of the building I was in was actually one of those air-filled bubbles. The kinda air-bag-thing used by driving ranges that have in-climate weather patterns. I know I’m describing a very sad place, but for those of us who don’t like this time of year because of Christmas past - it allows one to be alone and really take a beat.