I may not be having Bacon for a while...

I’m going to level with you.

Reader…  I’m a fucking idiot.  I say this in a self-depreciating way, I’m moderately responsible and go about life trying to make the next day better than the last for both myself and people immediately in my life.
That being said… I make mistakes all the bloody time.  Really embarrassing ones like the one I’m about to describe.

So I get up Sunday morning and move some 12 packs of soda up from the trunk of my car.  I decided to have a can of diet pepsi with breaky…  mostly so that I can dispose of some bacon grease.

Yes… I dispose bacon grease in cans of of soda or beer.  

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I eat breakfast… watch Outside the Lines on ESPN.  Open up a second can of soda and go about my morning.  I decide to start cleaning up after my meal and the soda can on my coffee table had a little bit of diet pepsi in it.

Go to the sink and start to stack some dishes when I see another can on the counter.  I grab it and lean over to toss it into the trash can when I feel a little weight in the can.
I tilt back my head and I then realize that the can is filled with cooled bacon grease.  

I didn’t drink it… but I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.  I spat it out into the sink.  Ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth 4 times.  
I can’t begin to describe what it felt like…  my teeth and gums were overwhelmed with the taste of bacon.

I don’t know why, but I started to have my head fill with thoughts of my heart coming to a complete stop.  I immediately had these images of my arteries clogging completely shut.  I was convinced that I was about to die of bacon grease of the mouth.
Outside of being completely grossed out… I’m happy to report I’m ok.

This is why I shouldn’t be trusted to be alone.

"Beast Mode" AKA, News night with Will McAvoy : Episode 5

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One of the things that delights me about the show - the Newsroom, is that we get to see Jeff Daniels portray a news anchor who can be described as equal parts genius & prick.

I don’t know what its like to conduct a live news broadcast and have people in your ear all fucking night…  but tonights episode allowed us to see just that.

I think this was the Jeff Daniels Emmy episode…  we got a glimpse of what its like to be on the uneven terrain of Live Television.

Did I mention that his Father suspiciously called right before he went on the air?  Shit went down in Syria / He handled a twitter beef in between news segments / Explained to ACN viewers at home how Gas Prices work / Managed not to loose his shit on a lady who proclaimed the “death of White America” / Fit in Treyvon Martin 911 clips and completed the last 18 minutes of the SHOW after he confirmed that his father died.

B E A S T M O D E

Other things that I found of interest.

1.) Revenge Porn - Did you know that there’s Revenge Porn websites out there?  I mean… I guess I knew that the net would be the most ideal place for said porn, I just didn’t know that there was a site called “RevengePorn.com”.  There isn’t by the way…  I did however find a place called MyEx.com.   It totally has photos of both guys and girls on it.  It even allows you to do a search of people by name and state.  I naturally typed my name in and confirmed that I wasn’t on said site.

One of my favorite entries on an ex girlfriend read “Gives OK head. That’s about it”…  ouch.  For what it’s worth… you’re pretty fucking ace in my book.  He could have said that your blowie technique was like sticking his dick in a warm glass of water.

I’ve actually said that about a person once.  Horrific blowie.  Regrettable for all parties involved. 

2.) Shit Heads -  Don asked Sloan, how she couldn’t tell that the guy who put naked photos of her online wasn’t a shit-head until that happened?  She insisted that she can’t tell until they do a shit head thing.  He insisted that shit heads of this magnitude should give off a whiff of shit head before these things happen.

A.) This is true.  I am that shit head.   B.) Don, go fuck yourself - you’re that shit head too.

3.) Maggie Jordan’s Hair - Didn’t she chop it to shit in the last episode?

4.) Put on Blast for Drinking - I’ve been that person whose been called out for drinking too much.  The conversation between Maggie and Jim nearly drove me to fucking drink.  

I’ve been in the circumstance of having to be under a roof with a person you don’t want to live with… and you slowly just drink your thought process down to the point where you can go to sleep at night.

Is it bad for you?  Yes…  and you have to get up and pee while you sleep.  But, she’ll be ok once she gets shitty apartment in Queens.

The Return of Breaking Bad : Tread Lightly

Can we all agree that tonight’s episode really paid off in the last 6 minutes, where Hank and Walk traded stares, blows and insinuations?

There were a number of other important things that happened… 

1.) Future Flash Walt is back in town with his Life During Wartime - “Loaded With Weapons” - Oldsmobile 88 and he broke into his sized property to pick up some ricin he keeps in the back of an electrical outlet plate.

2.) Skyler White - seems to be ok with Walt both working at the carwash and sleeping in the same bed with her…  when this series is over, I really want to take some time and examine this marriage.  They’ve been through hell and back and they’re making it work y’all.

3.) Jessie’s lost his shit again…  I know that people love him as a character, but if he were to expire in the next two episodes - I really could give a fuck.  Big ups to him taking a sack of money and playing baller-paper-boy and hooking up the Albuquerque barrios with some surprise money.  Suspiciously enough… all the barrios I’ve ever been to never go to sleep.  Not one fucking Mexican grilling some shit outside?

All of that however is shit compared to what transpired in the last 6 minutes of the show.

It’s simply the sweet return of riveting television.

Cuckoo for Koru

It’s been a while since I’ve made a mention of my An Apple A Day project webpage…  

I’ll be the first person to admit that eating an Apple A Day (at least a different culture of Apple) is hard to do.  At some point you sorta long for other fruits…  I also exhausted all the Apples I could get in Central Texas  during the Summer Months.

But I digress…  I recently went on a tear of New Zealand Apples and had one that I wanted to quickly recommend.  It’s called a Koru and it’s a mixture of a Braeburn and Gala.  The flesh is soft and insanely juicy… from what I read, it’s also a new Apple culture of sorts.

They should be available everywhere and at a grocer near you.