Victim of a Naked and Afraid marathon... / by Rollie Agado

When I got back from bowling on Sunday, I took in 6 consecutive episodes of Naked and Afraid…

A show on the discovery channel that pairs a man and woman who have a shared interest in primitive survival skills and then places them on a part of the world to test said skills.

My initial interest in the show was rather shallow…  I was curious to see how much nudity the show was going to allow on cable television.

I’m going to save you a lot of time by confirming that they pretty much blurcle anything of interest.

Ladies: Breasts / Labia / Rear Burger… are all blurred out.
Men: Dong / Balls… are all blurred out.

I then wondered the following things:

1.) Will participants go out of their way to find clothing? (my rationale… you don’t want to expose parts of your body to the sun)
2.) Will the participants ever become sexually involved with one another?
3.) Will the participants narrowly avoid death because mother nature is not to be fucked with…

After sitting thru six episodes (all of season one) I can quickly answer number 3 by saying there was only one close call.

On episode 5… one of the contestants decided to drink untreated (read: not boiled) water and he came down with a killer fever.  His temperature got to 105 degrees and he needed to be carted off to some hospital where he received treatment in time to save his life.

The contestants didn’t really go out of their way to ever make any clothes…  this surprised me because they pretty much sat bare ass on their surroundings. 

Which by the way were pretty interesting, every pair of contestants were sent to a different part of the globe.  My three favorite locations:

  • Swamps of Louisiana
  • Some islands located on the equator outside of Africa where temps reach 120 degrees during the days and the water temperatures were warm enough to ward off fish from wanting to swim near shore.
  • Africa - i forget what part… but it didn’t really have any water.

But I digress…  

Sex.  So yeah…  there was practically none on the show and this surprised me a little bit.   I kinda figured that sex might come into play at some point…  maybe after someone killed something to eat after going through days of starvation.  

Conditions were apparently harsh enough to ever allow sexy time to ever enter the picture.