Real World Ex-Plosion

All good things must come to an end. Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-plosion Season Finale by Rollie Agado

Well...  it took 11 weeks, but Team Ro Ro, put together enough points to over take the Mercernaries and we brought home the REALITY FANTASY League trophy!   The final episode was pretty entertaining to boot.  I need to figure out a way to grade the "Shit they should have shown" episode too.

To View Scores and Rules Click HERE

They're celebrating my Reality Fantasy WIN!

They're celebrating my Reality Fantasy WIN!

Team Ro Ro: 720 total points
Team Mercer: 690 total points

Before we get to Ballerz of the week, I want to quickly recognize some of the Reality Fantasy league leaders.

Highest Point Total in Single Episode: Ashley - 165 points
Total Points Scored in Reality League Season: Corey - 565 points
Highest Points Per Episode: Corey - 47.08 points per episode

Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-Plosion MVP: Corey

Ballerz of the Week 

Brian - 160 Points
Brian brought the goods this week.  He nearly cracked the point total that Ashley put up in week #1.  Brian pulled 100 points by getting into 2 fights and being restrained by security 2 times. 20 points for breaking things and a bed.  20 points for being wicked drunk. 20 points for random verbal fights.

Corey - 80 points
50 points - physical (2 times)
15 points verbal - w/Brian
15 drunk points - professing concern for Jenny

 

Go Go Dancing for Money and all things All things Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-plosion Week 11 by Rollie Agado

As real world San Francisco 2014 draws to a close, this season has got me around to thinking about new rules that we need to add for future Reality Fantasy games.   Getting day drunk should be rewarded...  getting a job while on the real world, like you know... the real world - you should get you points for that too.   I especially want to reward points if a character brings up their families fortune in some capacity.  It's happened twice this season... once with Hurricane Ashley and another again in the past episode with Tom.  

If all goes well, my team should be able to surpass my co-worker's team in the last and final episode.

Ballerz of the Week
Brian - 70 points
Brian is quite possibly the best and worst thing about Real World Ex-Plosions...  he pretty much ruined a really good thing I had going with Corey getting "friends with benefits" on the show.  But he's provided so much unintentional humor.   While we don't award points for having creative undergarments - his police short boxer briefs were hilarious.   Brian picked up 15 points for verbal fighting with Jenny, 10 points for verbal fighting with Corey, 5 for verbal fighting with Tom, 10 pints for getting drunk at the bar, 5 points for kissing a girl and 25 points for getting physical in the last moment of the game.

Corey - 35 points
Welcome back to the winners circle Corey.  While you didn't bring home 1st, you're primed to have one of the most explosive season capping episodes that has ever been recorded.  I'm so fucking giddy about Wednesday that I can barely contain myself.   Corey picked up 25 for getting physical on the bus and 10 points for verbally fighting with Brian.

Tom - 30 points
Tom picked up 20 of his points for getting day drunk in Napa Valley and passing out on the limo-bus.  Keep it classy Tom.  He also pieced up an additional 10 points for verbally fighting with Jaime and Brian.   I wish I could have given you more for reminding us that you're rich... but we haven't baked it into the rules yet.  

Drunk Ashley, Meet the Tom Twins and all things Week 10 of Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-Plosions by Rollie Agado

10th episode of the Real World aired the other night and while I watched the episode and enjoyed it verily, it didn't really translate well to the point sheet.  The one thing it did do however was re-introduce drunk Ashley to the show and that was enough to terrify me.  I'm pretty sure she didn't have more than 8 minutes of screen time last night and she picked up 20 points without TRYING.

15 points for being drunk...  she's typically good for 25 drunken points, but she didn't get "Ashley WASTED" so I had to grade her down.  Before anyone complains to me about the point total, she's the one who set the bar so high.  Ashley then picked up another 5 points for kissing Jenny on the lips.  A kiss that i need to see again because I think Jenny went in for a cheek kiss and Ashley went in for a mouth smooch and somewhere in the middle when the decision has to be made (cheek or mouth) - it appears that Jenny changes to meet Ashley on the lips.

To View Updated Scores and Rules Click HERE

No ballerz this week.

Deeper than a Bromance, its a Bropocalypse and all things Week 9 of Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-Plosions by Rollie Agado

Every now and again... I'll see an episode of the Real World and instead of just going straight to bed after my viewing.  I hop over to the laptop, calculate scores quickly and do the recap minutes after my viewing.

That glance is deeper than a "bromance"

That glance is deeper than a "bromance"

Tonight's episode was one of the better ones in recent memory and its sorta laying the groundwork for having the ex's leave the house before the "OG" roomies say goodbye to one another.

Which I must say couldn't happen soon enough, the show was 100% better when we saw the roomies interact and awkwardly sex each other up before the exes arrived.  For the second consecutive week... I don't really have 3 true "ballerz" to lay praise on.  What's even more sad... the person who put up the most points isn't on anyone's ROSTER.

And while we didn't see a lot of scoring, we got to see and hear more out of Brian and his bizarreness.  Oh.  We also got to see a trailer for THE CHALLENGE - Free Agents (April 10th).  That deserves its own post tho'...   Onto Hailey's performance in week 9

To View Updated Scores and Rules Click HERE

Top Baller of the Week
Hailey - 110 points
So I don't quite understand the ballad of Tom and Hailey...   I mean, I can see why the two would date each other.  I can also see why the two don't want to date one another anymore...  but I'm really torn between which of the two I dislike more.   I'm pretty sure I dislike Thomas more, but I don't understand why Hailey is sticking around for the mental/emotional abuse.  Hailey (who did not get drafted by anyone in the Reality Fantasy League) picked up 25 points for being shit-faced-rolling around the floor in a blanket-hammered.  I know a little bit about getting shit-faced and I've never rolled around the floor in a blanket.  I'm seriously considering this over the weekend in Houston.   Hailey picked up an additional 25 points for physically fighting.  25 points for being restrained by security.  25 points for decisively winning the fight...  5 points for verbal fighting and another 5 spot for crying. That boys and girls is what we call "beasting".


Girls that throw roundhouse kicks are straight up sexy and all things Reality Fantasy Real World Episode 8 by Rollie Agado

Can you believe that we're only 4 or so weeks from this season of the Real World coming to an end?   I sorta can... because I'm already burning on watching and scoring this thing.

Actually, that's not entirely true... a friend sent me a text the other day showcasing her duvet cover - which happens to match the ones on the Real World and you too can get them at IKEA.

Somehow Jaime is involved in wearing a wolf suit, mounting a passed out boyfriend and I got zero points for this.  Rules need amending.

Somehow Jaime is involved in wearing a wolf suit, mounting a passed out boyfriend and I got zero points for this.  Rules need amending.

To View Updated Scores and Rules Click HERE

Sole Baller of the week:

Jenny 90 Points
I'm pretty sure that Jenny helped my co-worker Ashley win the Reality Fantasy league after posting 90 points in the last episode.  How did she drop 90 points you ask?  10 points for verbally fighting with Brian.  5 points for making out with the German at the bar...  we should have given her points for also stealing the German away from a roommate.  25 points for physically fighting. 25 points for decisively winning the fight and another 25 for being held back by security/production staff.  Boys and Girls that's what we call "beast mode".

2nd and 3rd place scored 25 and 20 points respectively...  not going to put them in the Ballerz club.  Not gonna do it.

That Baby Ain't Mine and all things: Reality Fantasy Real World Explosions Week 7 by Rollie Agado

It's that time of the week y'all...  Watched the latest episode of Real World Explosions last night and continue to feel that this may be one of the best seasons they've had in years.

To View Updated Scores and Rules Click HERE

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Top 3 Ballerz of the Week:

60 Points - Loren
Loren picked up half of her 30 points by threatening to leave the show and then following through.  Her pregnancy was reason enough to pack up her things and move out of the Real World House.  She cried 4 times for 20 points and got into 2 fights with Corey.  

55 Points - Corey
Corey picked up 40 points for crying twice this episode...  he also managed to pick up an additional 15 points for verbal spats in the episode.   I typically look forward to defending Corey's antics in the weekly recap, but he came across being freakishly possessive and incapable of communicating his emotions.

40 Points - Brian
Brian picked up 25 points for releasing his penis from "chastity".  No cast-member on this season of the Real World intrigues me more than Brian.  The muscle posing scene was weird... but it's not nearly as weird as his bad skin and weird hair.   I'm also amazed by how real his long term relationship behavior is around Jenny.  There was a scene where she dragged him by the arm while he ate a banana to another room so she could feed him a burrito.   Then there's the "thought records"...  fuck they're weird.  Brian picked up an additional 15 points in kisses.

Anyone else smell pregnancy scare in the air? All things Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-plosion Week 6 by Rollie Agado

Want to quickly apologize to all the Fantasy Owners for not getting around to watching the episode until last night.  Werk has been unusually grueling and all it took was one week for these guys to not air on Wednesdays for me to completely forget about the show.

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Seriously.   I couldn't remember the names of cast members during my viewing and it made it really upsetting to score.  Its good to know that my brain is keeping these idiots in my short-term-memory bank where it belongs.

To View Updated Scores and Rules Click HERE

Top 3 Ballerz of the WEEK!

Corey - 100 points
With hurricane Ashley safely off the show, Corey is firmly holding onto my MVP vote for Most Valuable Reality Baller of the Year.  Despite the house filling to 10 roommates, Corey continues to average a staggering 63 points per week.  Half of his points came by way of "Pregnancy Scare"...   something I've experienced in my lifetime and dread the idea of having MTV document that for others to watch/tweet/blog/talk about it.  Corey picked up an additional 20 points for intentional nudity by participating in a Butt Cheek competition (and lost) to Tom.  25 points for sexy time in the shower... and 5 points for unintentional nudity to get into said shower.  Beast On brother Corey, Beast On.

Lauren - 75 points
Loren picked up 75 points handily buy simply having sex in a shower and having a pregnancy scare in only her 2nd week on the Real World.   I personally have bad experiences with Lauren's from Michigan so every time her name comes up on the screen, I sorta cringe a little.

Tom - 50
I can't hide the fact that I'm not a big fan of Tom...  I don't understand his relationship with Jaime and Haliey on the show.  He did however pick up 20 points differently than anyone else this season.  Tom sang a song in front of more than 2 people and that got him on the board early on.   He also picked up an additional 20 for intentionally showcasing his "bubble butt" in a Butt-Off against Corey.   Tom picked up a pedestrian 10 points for have a hand full of fights with Jaime.     

The Ex's Move into the house & all things Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-plosions Week 5 by Rollie Agado

So the wheels have officially fallen off the Reality Fantasy league...   I kinda feared that the addition of old flames in the house would make things so awkward that scoring would undoubtedly suffer.

Click Here to See Scores and Rules for our Reality Fantasy League

Sure enough...  scores were freakishly low for everyone on the show.

The LEADING POINT PER EPISODE character Corey (Team RoRo) got ZERO points this week.  ZERO.   He took a shower with his ex and still managed to surface with ZERO points!  WTF MTV!

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Recapping the episode is pointless...  and I'm suspending "Ballerz of the Week" because no one "balled" this week.

Highest score: 20 points - Brian
Half of his 20 points came on shedding tears and expressing his love to Jenny.  (vomit)  Brian is your textbook knuckle dragger...  he walked around the Real World House and box jumped an oversized windowsill.   He then stared around the apartment looking for other challenges/things to box jump/things to pee on. 

Worst episode of the season.   The show will return in 2 weeks.

 

Erotic Dinners and all things Week 4: Real World Reality Fantasy League by Rollie Agado

Full disclosure... I didn't get to see this episode the night it aired.   I ended up watching it on my laptop while weathering a snow storm in Southern Denver from the Inverness Hotel.

Click Here to See Scores and Rules for our Reality Fantasy League

I wonder if one can book one of these Eyes-Wide-Shut dinners outside of San Francisco...

I wonder if one can book one of these Eyes-Wide-Shut dinners outside of San Francisco...

The episode was a little bit of a let down in my opinion, but it still had a number of interesting things to talk about.   The second half of the new roommates arrived at the real world house and I kinda fear the new roommate Loren.  

I personally have had a rough go with people named Loren (from Michigan no less) in my lifetime so I'm already on hyper-watch-out mode.  She arrives in San Francisco, knowing that her ex-Corey is already "talking" (a.k.a. fucking) his roommate Jenny.  My biggest fear is that she's aware that she's playing with house money... fucks new roommate Brian (Jenny's ex) and causes an all-out war in the Real World house - leaving me vulnerable to other teams cleaning up on points.

The thing that disappointed me most in the episode was the announcement made by Jaime (my Fantasy Reality Player) that she has promised her father that she will *not* have on camera sex on the real world.  She's totally ok with talking about waking up next to Thomas and feeling his morning boner tho'...  

I can only imagine how proud her father is feeling on Wednesday nights. 

Want to also give a shout out to my girl Arielle...  big ups to her for booking an erotic dinner to completely set the house off for sexual healing.  Someone please fucking wife her up!

Top 3 Ballerz of the Week

75 points: Jenny
Now that Ashley has official left the show, I think I have to worry about Jenny cementing her claim for Reality Fantasy Real World Ex-plosion MVP.   Thru four weeks, she's averaging a respectable 50 points per episode.  She picked that up this week by having sex with Corey twice in the episode, and collecting an additional 25 points in kisses.   

70 points: Corey
With Ashley completely out of the Real World house, Corey has a clear path to becoming the Points Per Episode scoring champion.  Thru 4 weeks - Corey is averaging 70 points per episode and while I worry about him not having a lot of sex with Brian living in the house, he will undoubtedly pick up points for verbal arguments and breaking random things.  He is also the #1 Challenge Rookie on my Fantasy Draft Board.   Corey picked up 50 points for having sex twice on the show and 20 points in kisses.

35 points: Jaime
Normally, I would be pretty enthusiastic about having both of my Reality Fantasy players featured in the top 3 ballerz of the week... but I just can't get behind her relationship with Thomas.  I don't know if she's suffering from getting a 'bad edit' - but she's kinda coming across (to me at least) as a terrible girlfriend.  Her behavior in previous episodes have highlighted her jealously and insecurities... but now that's getting bookended with comments about wanting to mold Thomas into something.  What upsets me most is that I fucking hate Thomas...  he's puddle deep and a drunken bore.   *25 Points for sex...  I'm putting an asterisk next to it because I don't know if she had sex.  I'm pretty sure she did tho'...    5 points for verbal and 5 points for unintentional nudity. 

 

Can we all agree that this episode was a little exploitive? - Reality Fantasy - Week 3 by Rollie Agado

Been thinking about how to go about recapping last night's episode...   I typically write up a number of offensive things in the recap and thats a little hard to do when someone on the show received word about their mom losing her fight against Cancer.

Updated SCORES can be seen here

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It's kinda hard to not think how exploitive these shows are... but the Real World kinda has a shitty track record when it comes to this stuff.  I don't want to openly speculate how much Jay's chances were improved to be on the show because of what was going on at home... 

I just want to make it very clear that he's not exactly the most compelling character on the show this season and he's possibly the worst MC I've ever heard.

I don't quite see how he could ever leave his mom at the drop of a hat and fly across the country to have my life documented 24 hours a day by MTV.

You're probably reading this and wondering why I'm shitting on Jay...   well, I had intended to simply post scores and leave no recap but Jay did something that made no fucking sense to me last night.   After pounding "in loving memory" shots at the bar with family, he goes outside with Jenna and camera crew to call the roommates out west.

Perhaps this is something they asked him to do...  I'm pretty sure I'd be in a social coma and checking in on people I just met 9 days earlier wouldn't really be on my mind.   

On said phone call -Jay informs Thomas that it's his roommates that are providing the strength for him to propel forward.   I wish I fucking wrote down what he said... because it was absolutely absurd.

So enough about that...  lets get to the top 3 ballerz of the week.

85 points - Ashley M.  
Can we briefly acknowledge the fact that nearly 70 percent of the episode was spent on Jay and Ashley still lead the week in scoring?  She was practically in half of the remaining 30 percent of the show because she decided to pull a fucking no-show and quite possibly got kicked off.  So how exactly did she pull 85 points off?  Glad you asked...

  • 10 points - for crying twice in the episode... once over a purse that may never have been recovered.
  • 20 points - for getting drunk...  she didn't get the full 25, because we've seen her get that drunk
  • 25 points - for getting THAT DRUNK
  • 30 points - for threatening to leave and actually doing it.

65 Points - Jay
I've already shat on Jay so I'm just going to get to his score...

  • 40 points for crying
  • 25 points for Funeral Sex...  I'm presuming he got it in with Jenna while back east.  No sex is better than mourning sex.

35 points - Arielle 
How do I say this without it sounding "stalky"...  I fucking love this girl and I want to be her friend.  Can we work together and get word back to her that I'm awesome and that we would be great friends?   Real Talk:  she was trying to find some private time to use her vibrator - got interrupted by Thomas (who's a fucking waste of space by the way) and she politely humored him.   She's a fucking angel!

  • 5 for crying
  • 5 for the sexy kiss
  • 25 for Sex.  Well deserved, post Arielle home made dinner - sex.