Aliens VS Cowboys / by Rollie Agado

You’re probably asking yourself right now…  Why in the fuck would he watch a Cowboy movie the day after he complained about having to watch movies in that genre.

The answer is quite simple really…  I got a free Red Box movie rental and it was the only movie in the box that I hadn’t seen yet.

I had hoped to see a documentary about A Tribe Called Quest, but someone beat me to it.

N E Who… I talked to my friend nano for a little bit and he told me that he listened to the audio book (Cowboys VS Aliens) recently and that was going to spur him to watch it.   He admitted to not caring for the book but he was curious to see how the film adaptation went.

After a little bit of research, I don’t think the movie and book have a lot to do with each other but the Author of the book is suing the makers of the film for aping a few of the ideas.

That said…  Cowboys and Aliens is steaming hot plate of gah’bage.

007 (whose name I forget) wakes one day to discover that he has a copper bracelet (alien boom stick) on his left arm.  He doesn’t know his name and he doesn’t know where the fuck he is.

He’s suffering from a weird wound and I’m left to assume that he got abducted by an alien.   My assumption turned out to be right…

007 turns out to have a sketchy past, no english accent and he can whoop special forces like ass on anyone that choses to start shit with him.

He ends up in a shitty town, not knowing dick about himself or his bracelet…  people in the shitty town think his bracelet is kinda half-mo and this causes him to start shit with Harrison Ford’s son who’s a total dick.

Aliens finally surface and they cow-rope humans into their lair - and have them stare into lights.  Not exactly sure what for but I’m going to guess that their bodies are used to harness energy to power their vessel.

Which happens to look like the Guggenheim, but grand canyon red and it’s sorta easy to find if you happen to be on horse and go off to the fucking mountains.

The locals decide to all work together in hopes of finding their loved ones inside the alien guggenheim.  007 brings down said alien castle greyskull and all is well forever after.

I need to seriously watch some good movies soon or this movie project is going to end very fucking soon….

Begrudgingly watched Movie 19/365