DNA Testing / by Rollie Agado

I trust that I'm not alone in feeling that apartment announcements (typically tucked under your door or wedged between door and frame) are equal parts impersonal and bad news...

Yesterday's announcement is too good to not share with you.  Starting January, 2014 - my dog, Elliot - will have the privilege of having his mouth swabbed so that his DNA can be kept on record at some place that I haven't committed to memory.

DNA Testing for Dog Droppings

See... my apartment complex is one of the pet-friendliest-places I've ever lived at.  We have a dog park on our premises and they've thoughtfully placed dog-drop-stations all throughout the grounds.  They stock said stations with plastic bags - better than any place I've ever been to.

Despite their efforts, I have a number of neighbors who don't curb their dog.  Is it cringeworthy to walk around the complex and see unattended droppings?  Yes...  It's also a drag to notify the complex that your neighbor didn't pick up after their dog.

Hell, I was accused of not picking up after my dog once and he wasn't in the same zip code when it happened.  It took three weeks for the apartment to wave the fine...

Nonetheless, this shit feels invasive and a total misappropriation of funds.  I don't know if my rent (or pet rent) will go up any because of this.   I can think of 10 things I would like to see addressed/repaired around here before implementing Doggy-DNA-Tests.

I'm seriously considering the idea of asking friends to bring their dogs over when they visit so that they can shit on the grounds and they end up with inconclusive tests...

I tease of course...